AOL News

Title: "Military Daughters Form 'Sisterhood'"

Military Daughters Form 'Sisterhood'

While most incoming high-school seniors are relaxing over the summer, two California girls are making news across the country as they emerge as local leaders for military youth.

Moranda Hern, 17, and Kaylei Deakin, 16, are planning a conference for people like them: teenage girls with parents in the armed services. Both have felt alienated from their peer group while their dads were deployed overseas, and they are striving to provide support and social networking for teens struggling with the same dilemma.

Inspired by California First Lady Maria Shriver's annual Women's Conference, which they both attended in 2008, the girls are planning a three-day meeting in March 2010 called "Sisterhood of the Traveling BDUs." The name riffs on the popular series of teen novels, "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," since BDUs ("battle dress uniforms") are army fatigues.

In an interview with AOL News, Deakin said she sought out support from the Army after her father was deployed in 2005. "The military has a lot of programs for homes and families," she said, "but they did not have a lot of opportunities for social networking."

Hern agreed. Her family had only recently moved to Clovis, Calif., when her father was deployed in 2007. She became involved with local military support groups for a sense of community. However, she said, the groups lacked a "peer-to-peer aspect" with people of her own age and gender.

Both girls became involved with local military youth leadership--Hern in Clovis, and Deakin in Elk Grove, Calif. Deakin said that this involvement helped her cope while her father was overseas, and gave her a sense of her own capabilities.

"When my dad was first deployed, I wasn't doing anything," she said. "When I started to hang out with other military kids, I was encouraged to do things... I realized I had leadership potential."

Deakin started an after-school club for military teens at her high school, and spearheaded fundraisers for her father's Army National Guard unit. Hern, meanwhile, worked on behalf of her father's unit, the 144th Fighter Wing, and discovered the joys of community service. "Knowing you can really make a difference is empowering," she told AOL News, "and it builds your self-esteem."

Because of their efforts, the girls were nominated as youth leaders to a National Guard annual symposium, where they met for the first time last year. "We gave a presentation to a crowd of about 3,000," Hern said. "That was a pretty good initiation into our working relationship."

After the symposium, and their subsequent experience at Shriver's conference, the girls began planning their own "Sisterhood" conference for California girls from 13 to 18 who have parents in the military.

At first they mostly worked through word of mouth. But recently the girls were interviewed on National Public Radio, and have been getting positive responses from military blogs across the country. The girls also promote their cause on Facebook, Twitter and MySpace, and have an informational video posted on DoSomething.org

Hern and Deakin are reaching out to sponsors and speakers for the conference. They secured a venue, courtesy of the Clovis Veterans Memorial District, and are trying to raise as much money as possible so that 400 military girls from across the state can attend the conference for a minimal fee of around $100.

"We want to make it really easy for the girls to come who want to come," Hern said.

The teens have also asked Disney starlet Demi Lovato and country singer Taylor Swift to speak at the event. "It's not because they're famous," Deakin said. "They have a really positive message for military youth."
Lovato in particular interested the girls because the singer-actress has spoken out about her experiences with bullying, something Deakin became familiar with when her father was first deployed.

"People just didn't understand," she said. When she wore her father's fatigue jacket to class to comfort herself, she would be subjected to insensitive questions from other students. "Has your dad ever shot someone?" she was asked. "What am I supposed to say to that?" Deakin said.

Deakin and Hern chose a theme 'Mardi Gras' for their event, to address the unique challenges teen girls face when a parent serves in the military. Teenage girls "all wear different masks, especially while going through deployment," Hern said. "We wanted to get the girls to remove their masks during the conference and really be real with their military sisters."

Deakin said they also chose the theme because of the colorful decor. "Color scheme and the symbolism of color is important," she said. "There is a lot of purple, the symbol of military unity across all branches."

The teens stress the message that anyone can make a difference, by starting small. They want to partner with the charitable corporation TOMS Shoes for the conference. The company donates one pair of shoes to needy children for every pair purchased. Hern said they want to give each of the 400 girls a pair of shoes to decorate. "We want to tell them, look, you have already donated a pair of shoes to someone who wouldn't have had them just because you came to this conference," Hern said.

On top of prepping for the conference, Hern and Deakin are busy charting their lives after they finish high school next spring. Deakin plans to attend West Point or Annapolis and eventually join the Marine Corps. Hern said she has wanted to go to the Air Force Academy since she was 8 and is being recruited by the school for diving.

The girls, who hope to eventually have chapters of their conference nationwide, are optimistic about the future. "Our goal is to work ourselves out of a job," Hern said. "Our goal for the conference is for girls to be so inspired they want to step up... This is our legacy, this is our baby. We want to inspire people with our mantra: Unite, Inspire, Lead."

Despite the hardships of being military teens, both girls are enthusiastic about entering the armed services and are immensely proud of their fathers. Deakin said her own struggles never deterred her from the military. "I never hesitated at all, it actually encouraged me," she said.

"I'm so proud of my dad and I know Kaylei's so proud of her dad," Hern added. "We just want to serve our country... and with programs like ours we're making life better for future military kids."

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