Addiction.
I am an addict. A secret one, hiding in the night. Under the floor boards. In my closet.
I smoke ganja, one of the most common and over-looked drugs. I love ganja, purp, weed, whatever. I love when it's laced with other substances, so I get super messed up but don't feel guilty. So I don't FEEL like I'm addicted to anything.
"I can stop at anytime." I tell people. But it is a lie. I know it is.
My boyfriend, smokes pot a few times a week, and even he has turned to be and said, "cut back, you smoke too much." Even my best friends, also users, have said "you're becoming quite dependent on this J, cut back before it gets worse."
I also take pills, though they tear up my stomach, I do it over and over again. They make me feel light and fluffy. I like it.
I drink too, which also tears up my stomach, I never barf though.
And my last addiction... I cut myself, not all the time, now less than I used to, but sometimes I still find myself turning that blade.
I want to stop this.
Help me.
skatergurl014@gmail.com, if you need someone to talk or for help. :)
I understand cutting. That's my "something" I guess as this site puts it. The drugs/alcohol and cutting generally all go together.
I'm guessing you have/had a rough home life or something? My advice is talk to a school counselor, doctor, or close adult friend. All those issues are very serious, and also very deadly. You realize the drugs magnify the effects of the drinking, and vice versa? And what happens that one day you are totally wasted and that one cut goes too deep?
I've been there mate, and talked with people :( Seriously, it'll be tough, and scary, but it is so worth it. Find someone you trust and get help.
Wow, reading through this made me very emotional. A lot of time cutting youself comes from bulling, low self-esteem or even drepression. I'm sorry things are resulting to this, and maybe using drugs is a way for 'comfort'. But you have to understand, that theres always another way around things. You dont want to become a statistic or another reason for people to look at you as useless.Keep your head up and reach out to the people most important in your liffe.
I was deeply impressed by your lines. I am not addict but I know a lot of them. Being addict is terrible, it ruins your life.
Addiction has a great power and you will overcome only if you have a greater power. I think you say that you don't have any power. Try to connect yourself to real things which have great power, like ideals, classical music, great poems, dreams about the future, love...
I can't say I have ever been through the drug stage, but I have been through the depression and cutting stage. I wish I could just take it all away from you and make you feel better, but I know it must be so hard for you. I was depressed for about 5 years..I didn't think I would ever get through it, but I did. And believe it or not I did it mostly on my own. I didn't really have anyone supporting me or walking me through it. But I found God, and He held my hand the whole way.
I can't explain the joy that has come with giving my life to Christ. I'm happy, and I have confidence. And that's something I never thought I would be able to say.
I don't know anything about your faith, but I know I have no regrets because I am forgiven and I can still relate to those who are going through some of the same things I went through. I want you to know you are beautiful and you are loved and no matter what trials you go through I know you can find the strength to get through them and overcome your addictions.
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." -1 Corinthians 10:13
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” -1 John 1:9
<3
I cannot know the cause of your addictions. Maybe depression. Maybe self esteem that has hit rock bottom and continued careening down. Maybe a home life that makes you want to numb out the world.
My uncle was addicted to alcohol. Was one of the best men I knew. Tried to quite twice; knew it was killing him. Couldn't. Died two years ago at forty years old because of alcohol-related liver failure.
A family friend OD'd on drugs. His funeral was heartbreaking. He was fifteen.
Please, talk to someone who can help you. Corny and oversaid, but that's because it's true: you need to talk to a trusted individual. Or ask your friends to if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
I hope this helps. Good luck.
"All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming." -Helen Keller
You should seek help and maybe try counseling, but if that doesn't help seek outt help in a rehab. Ask yourself why you smoke and what are you getting out of it (the feeling you get doesn't last long) remember. Pills and the alcohol make the smoking addiction worst, try to look at yourself in a life without drugs (it will be a much better one) I'm sure. If you're smoking and such think about how it hurts your body your cry for help let's me know it's even hurting your soul.Try to look to someone close in your life and find a friend. If you need help here's my email: kautry623@gmail.com I will promise to be your friend via email. Remember think about long term affects not the short term.
It's all inside of you, bro. Meaning, only you can help at this point. You have people that are willing to help you put an end to this, like you said even your friends are telling you to stop. So this all comes down to just you. I know you can do it, even if I dont know you at all. Keep your head up.
My cousin was addicted to alcohol. It killed him. In total, I've lost around 125 friends/loved ones to alcohol and drug addiction and another 20 to suicide, both intentional and unintentional.
I became addicted to weed when I was 13, and stayed addicted up until I became pregnant and had no choice but to stop. I didn't want to hurt my baby like that. I tried getting help, and stayed clean for about a year before the stress of high school became too much. I can happily say I am clean now. I'm very worried about relapsing again, so I joined an addiction recovery teen group. It's strictly for teens and it's even led by teens. It really helps to talk to those that can relate to you the easiest and those people tend to be peers.
I was also addicted to alcohol. I loved being drunk more than anything. Everything was sooooo funny. I realized I had a problem and was trying to get help but then I also realized I didn't want it. I finally accepted help from concerned friends. I had lost 6 friends to drunk driving accidents, I was almost the 7th victim. I finally woke up and took control and kicked the habit. Some helpful methods I used were:
1: meditation and aroma therapy to soothe the nerves
2: writing down when I started craving and what was happening when my craving started
3: called a friend whenever I felt like I was going to give in and talked to them until I knew for certain that I wouldn't bend
4: prayer
5: finally asking a trusted adult for help
as for the cutting, there's a self-help workbook that breaks everything down for you and it's for you personally. it's called Stopping The Pain and you can find it at Barnes and Noble (in the teen section) or Hastings or any place that sells self-help books.
Good Luck on your recovery, I know you can do it!!!!