Broken love

love its a four letter word that can have several meenings. such as if u luv me u will have sex, if u love me u will do drugs, if u love me u will put me before ur children. the last one i feel i am really familar with bc thats how i lived for 14years of my life with my mom and i was the kid she was putting the man in front of. i watched as my mom got hit and beat day by day and 5 min. after he hit her she would tell me she loved him and thats what i seen was love and that i wouldnt understand till i was older. and now that i am older i find it hard to believe in true love but oooo do i want it soo bad to have the feeling to know that u r someones everything im a girl who beleives in fairytales. even though everything i have been through i still believe i cant even come close to tell u y my mom let men and is still leting men hit her i feel that maybe she jus thinks she doesnt deserve better than low down pieces of crap but i wish she seen what i seen when i look into her eyes i see a talented women who will fight till the end who never lets anything keep her down no matter what she can dust herself off and get back up i cant tell u i am her protector anymore bc i am now 15 and i have learned that i cant protect someone who doesnt want protecting she has to help herself im jus a kid i cant jump in front of every bullet that gets shot at her bc eventually my body will go limp and i will fall to the floor broken from love.
p.s comment if u would like tell me ur story the topic may not be improtant but love is very confuseing