been there. done that.
I am a 17 year old senior in high school. Believe me when I say that I have had my fair share of bad relationships. There is one relationship in particular that I can never forget about. I thought the guy was the one that I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
I met this guy during my freshman year of high school. We started talking a lot and I started to really like him. We had the same group of friends and a few of the same classes. Near the end of freshman year, we became "official". The first day we were officially together he kissed me and told me that he loved me. I couldn't understand how he could say that seen as we were only together for a few hours.
We were together for a month and then he cheated on me. The girl he cheated on me with became my best friend, junior year. He refused to tell me what he did. Two of our friends, one of them was his best friend, told me at lunch one day. The coincidence was that I had the last class of the day with him. I completely ignored him because I was so mad at him. That night he called me crying multiple times and every time I hung up on him. I couldn't believe that he had done that to me.
The next day at school one of his friends told me that he tried to kill himself because he couldn't stand knowing that he lost me. I didn't want to be the reason for him killing himself so I took him back. I really thought if I stayed with him then it would be okay and we could put this all in the past. We ended up breaking up again a week later but this time was different.
A couple of days after we broke up he started dating my "best friend". They were together for two years but he was never really happy, you could see it in his eyes. The day after they broke up he asked me to go to dinner with him because he needed a friend to talk to. I went and before the night was over we were back together.
We would go out and break up all the time, it was nothing new. Every time we were together he would tell me that I was the reason he was alive. He said that we would be together forever. He said that he needed me. He said that he had nothing if I ever left him again. One time he actually told me that he would kill himself if he lost me. I knew that he wasn't in love with me when he said that. But how was I supposed to break up with him now? I cared about him because he was my friend but I wouldn't be able to live knowing that I was the reason that he killed himself.
One day I got sick of him telling me all this stuff. I texted one of his friends and told him that I wanted to break up with his friend. I asked him to go over to his house to make sure he didn't try to kill himself. His friend wasn't happy that I was breaking up with his friend for good this time but he went over anyways. I called my boyfriend, at the time, and told him that it was over.
I told him that he would find someone that cared about him and that he wouldn't be alone. He told me that he was alone without me. When I tried to reason with him, he hung up on me. I didn't know what he did that night until the next day at school. His friend told me that he tried to kill himself again but he stopped him just in time. I felt horrible for the guy but I couldn't stay in that relationship. That day in school, he started crying and the teen health center made him go to an institute to get checked out. He was there for the rest of the day but was back in school the next day.
It has been months since this happened and I am trying to move on with my life. I have a new boyfriend that I care about. Looking back I realized that I was never in love with him, I just wanted to be because he said he cared about me so much. The girl he cheated on me with is still my best friend and it turns out that he is trying to go out with her now. She tells him no and then he blames me and starts to call me a "bitch" and a "backstabber". He always told me that he wanted me to be happy in life. I wasn't happy with him. But now that I'm happy with someone else, he has to try to get back into the picture.
If anyone out there has been through some kind of emotional abuse like I have been, you are not alone.
I don't want to sound mean when I say this but your ex is the reason why I don't like guys. They become too controlling and possessive. You shouldn't have to be with someone you don't care about and that someone shouldn't threaten to kill themself if you aren't with em. That had to put you through alot of stress, I for sure wouldn't be able to take it. I'm glad you found someone you care about now :) and hopefully all goes well. I really think he shouldn't call you those sort of things even if your friend tells him no. Your not a backstabber, your friend just has seen what you went through and doesn't wanna go through the same thing. If you ever need to talk reply back to this message, I'm always here to listen. :)
If someone tries to say that they love you, only a few hours into the relationship. It's most likely going to be a lie.
From my personal experiance, the guy I went out with said he loved me all the time. I said it back because I was happy someone was saying those words to me. But now that were no longer together, and it's baan years sinse that relationship, I am realising that it was all just a joke to him. That he didn't care about me as much as he said he did.
It's a good thing that you left him because of all the times you two broke up and he kept saying he would kill himself. I think he was trying to be too controlling, and when you wouldn't listen to his 'crap' he went to the extent of saying he would kill himself. Cause he knew it would bring you back in. But you got past that, and moved on. And I'm proud of you for that. I'm glad you have found someone that cares about you, and you care about them. But he needs to leave you alone, because your in a good steady relationship with someone else.
I was there too. I dated a guy for a nearly two years without breaking up with him. He was just like that. Very emotional, manipulative, and also possessive. When first started going out he was already giving me cute nick names like "babe" "baby love" "love" and holding my hand the same week. I felt uncomfortable, but I didn't tell him...he eventually stopped after he show the way I was acting. I was afraid of him and let him do whatever he wanted to do to me, because I just wanted to make him happy...he seemed to never be happy.
It took me a while to break up with him. When I broke up with him he did the same exact thing you ex did. He tried to cut himself, susposedly. I didn't believe it. I don't think he was that stupid enough to do something so selfish. I broke away from him a year and the half ago, and I'm still trying to get over him.
But looking back on that I felt that everything he ever told me was a lie and that he used me. He use to tell me he loved me like 348938403 times a day, and at times I always wondered did he really love me? Or was he just saying it because he knew thats what I wanted to hear. I'm glad you found someone else. Keep on moving on. All your ex is trying to do is pull you away from your current boyfriend because he is jealous.
I was in a relationsiplike that once. The guy was obsessed and would never leave me alone. He played with my hair, tried to kiss me, hugged me constantly, and smacked my butt all the time. One day, I finally said stop, and he broke down in tears. The next day, one of his freinds told me he tried to kill himself, but he was too scared and thought I would take him back. Then ,two months later, he moved to Florida. I never saw him again. I was happy to be out of that relationship, though. Don't worry. Your not the only one who has gone through this.