i need some advice can anyone help???
Ok so. ive had this problem with a guy for about 2-3 months now. now he went to school with me but the thing is i dont know him. i mean he was just another student to me in class. people would pick on him but i didnt. im polite to everyone and i always say hi to people around me even if their not my friends and i was the only one who didnt pick on him. anyway, he started following inside my classes that he didnt go to and he would stay there until the bell rang. i didnt think anything of it when he would ask me for hugs or anything until he thought it was ok for him to put his arm around me. he wasnt normal...or at least he didnt act normal so it kind of scared me. my friends would always tell me that he was weirdly obsessed with me because he would always talk about me and they had also told me that he had gotten pictures of me. i dont know if thats true. finally he followed me for the last time and then i told him to stop following me and he left saying "im not following you im not following u" when he clearly followed me into a classroom that wasnt his. then he started writing letters to me saying that he loved me and that he hated himself anf things like that. he wrote about 3 of them and the fourth one he wrote a pretty scary letter. it had...said "if u dont kill me then i will kill you"..."but its ok i still love u babe!" & "u dont know me but i know u inside & out" and "wat happened to the jessica i knew?" he had called me sexy and hot and it was pretty scary. i think i got more angry then scared for that moment because of the things that he had called me like "babe" and "sexy" & "wat happened to the jessica i knew?" he had no right to say that to me. anyway i told an adult and they called the police and questioned me a& they suspended him & they dont think he will be returning to the school but my question is:Should i remain at my school? Or should i leave? because i dont know wat hes capable of and if he'll come back for me or anything like that. The only thing is i dont wanna leave my frinds because i want to graduate with them..not transfer...by the way im in 10th grade and he was 17. i could really use some advice right now so if anyone can help that would be nice.
Well I'm glad you were nice to him. The one thing I have gotten to know is that if there is someone in school that no one talks to then you talk to them, it makes their day. And then they always want to be around you because you are nice. He just wanted a friend. Someone who was nice to him. Someone like you. I don't know what to tell you about the other things he did. So best of luck with that.
-Ashley
You should definently not leave school. You should not have to miss out on having fun and graduating with your friends for being nice to someone!!! A kid at my school was sorta like that, and when my friends and I were trying to be nice to him he would act weird to. Not exactly as weird as that, but still kinda akward. The way that I always took it was that he didn't know HOW to act, you know? He didn't know how to be a friend, because he hardly had any friends. That is probably just what happened in you situation. Also, if he does end up coming back just know that school is a place that you are supposed to feel safe in. Tell a teacher or counselor or any adult as soon as you feel threatened. I hope that everything works out! <3
I have had a similar experience, though nothing quite as scary, and here is what I have to say.
If there is a very good chance that he will not return, then stay. You deserve to stay in a place you know well, especially if it is high school. It's tough transferring out , I did and it was difficult!
If you feel safe at your school despite the one guy, then yes, stay. If you believe he will come back (and think logically, emotions can make people scared of nothing, just keep calm and think :) ) then let a trusted adult know, especially your parents or principal. They have an outside view. If your friends support you, stick close to them. There's safety in numbers. Just don't be too paranoid, then you won't have any fun during school.
All in all, I am glad you handled the situation so maturely and that he was removed. Just keep safe okay? ;)
Thanks guys that really helps. He did end up at summer school at the same school i was attending but he hasnt bothered me since then so yeah i feel better now :)
i think about that in a 50/50 way:
yes you should leave because no matter where you go you are still gonna have your friends with you and you need to protect yourself from people like that because if you don't tell anyone or do something about it who knows what could happen....
and
no you shouldn't leave because you should be able to stay with your friends . i know how it feels to leave friends because since i was born i've had to move every two years because of my parents in the military so i say it's how you feel about it
i think that you should stay in your school and be with your firends, dont leave because in a way your leting him win, if he comes around you again just call the cops on him,
if you haven't told an adult about his behavior, please do!
Even though he stopped, that doesn't mean he's actually "stopped".
He's probably waiting for the perfect time to catch you somewhere alone, and do something to you.
What he did was not normal. In fact, it was plain creepy. He sounds as if he was stalking you- yes, STALKING, you. That is mental ward behavior, and when he wrote you those letters, that was another psycho stalker behavior.
You never know, he probably has gotten in trouble before for stalking someone- that's probably why everyone picked on him in school.
You be careful, alright? And tell someone you know and trust pronto.
First off i want to congratulate you on doing the right thing. Telling an adult about your situation is hard to do and most people avoid it and take it into their own hands.I'm proud of you, I really am.
If your thinking about leaving school think about your education. Don't let this boy stop you or distract you from your future. Education is the key to a successful future so don't let his actions take that away from you.
I want you to stay safe too. so if he does come back and things seem strange again make sure someone you trust knows. I know this must be very scary for you, I really hope everything works out. You seem like a good, strong person and i know you can make it through this tough time.
:D i hope this helped
Thank you for sharing your story, I was almost starting to think I was the only one with stalker problems haha.
I was friends with this guy two years ago named Alex for about 3 months in 10th grade. We saw eachother once a week during lunch, but I didn't know him too well. He asked to hang out once and play guitar one Saturday afternoon, and I didn't think much of it, especially not leading him to think I liked him or anything.
Then one day in January, Alex moved to a town about 40 minutes away. At the time, I played an online game called CyberNations, but very few people knew I played. And even then, only my friend knew my nation name, which is why I was one day surprised to find a message on CN from Alex. He said he missed me, his new school sucks, and how lonely he is. He then mentioned that Valentine's Day was coming up, and would I like to be his gf? I was delighted that someone asked me out- for the first time ever! However, I got this bad feeling and decided not to. I politely declined his offer and told him it was sweet to ask, but I'm not interested atm. He wasn't satisfied with my response, and started questioning my decision. I kept telling him no, and each time, he became more upset and rather obsessive. He'd write me love letters, telling me how he can't live without me, etc. I started to ignore them, and he got really upset at me. He'd send me messages telling me he was going to kill himself, that he needed me, why couldnt I see what I was doing to him? I had never had a suicidal friend before, so I didn't know what to do. I sent him a final message telling him that I'd never want to hurt him, and certainly not have him kill himself, and that he is a good guy. But he has to stop with the messaging.
For awhile, he stopped. But I began to feel watched at school all the time. Whenever I was with my friends talking in the hallways, I could sense someone listening closely to what I was saying. One day, after giving my work phone # to my best friend, I got a phone call at work. Guess who it was from?
I wondered how he could have gotten my #, especially since the only person at school who knew it was my friend. I then got a phone call on my cell phone from Alex, but I told him it was a wrong number, and he never called back. I blocked his messages on my email and AIM, not knowing HOW he knew all my contact information. (it wasn't on my myspace at that time). Soon, I found the culprit. Alex's best friend, Brian, was following me around the school! Once he noticed I saw him following me, he'd try to talk to me about how I upset Alex, how depressed Alex was, how selfish I was for not liking Alex and going out with him. I'd always been wary of Brian- I got this creepy feeling whenever he would hang out with me and Alex, and so I avoided him whenever possible. However, it became increasingly hard to avoid him when he memorized my class schedule and would discover all my alternate routes to my classes. I didn't know what to do. No matter what I did, he'd find me and I was really scared.
I don't know how, but I one day got into a discussion with my best friend about the situation. She became extremely protective of me and immediately organized a plan. She and a few of my other friends began to walk to classes with me in a group so that Brian couldn't see me. During lunch time, my Spanish teacher let me hang out in her room to crochet or do hw so that Brian couldn't harass me in the library like he had been doing.
So, my best advice to you? Talk to people about it- especially your friends. I never thought my friends cared about me really until this happened, and they were extremely supportive and protective of me. They're there for you when you need them. Tell an adult too-this was hard for me, because I'm not really close with any of my teachers except for my Spanish teacher. And I was reluctant to tell her what was happening, but I did eventually tell her, and she helped inform the principal about what was going on and now Brian is suspended for harassment.
I don't know what has become of Alex, but I hope he's gotten help and is ok.
Good luck to you, and always remember- we're here for you, to listen, give advice, whatever. And so are you friends. :)
Your own safety is the most important thing right now. There's a high chance that this boy is mentally ill and he's capable of doing exactly as he said he will.
If he ever comes back, make sure the adult that you told knows about it and maybe they could possibly help you find a schedule that will help you stay away from him.
Thank you for sharing your experience sounds very scary. My advise to you is Although a student had done that You should not leave the school you attend all your friends are there. If you leave your showing him your afraid of him. stick up for yourself and if he attempts to try anything else go staright to a teacher. I would also talk to a guidance councler about maybe changing how your day goes to prevent runing into him. But because a students was harrasing you dont have to leave.
Debbie
Definitely do not leave your school! I would talk to my parents before going to my friends about it if I were you.
Good luck
weel if he comes to you, you should go to a teacher again and tell them and they will help you with it because i just got out a bed dating thing and he would not leave me alone so i was in the same spot as you are in.
i think that you should stay in your school...if you leave then you are showing that u are scared and you are going to let him win...show him that you are stronger then that and you are not scared of what he is going to do.
I have never had anything like that happen to me,butyou can never be cautious enough.Make sure an adult alwayes knows that he has been at the same location you were even though he did not bother you.once a stalker alwayes a stalker.He could be waiting for the right opertunity to catch you alone.I don't want to scare you just be aware of your suroundings.Never go alone,buddy up.God bless and keep you is my prayer for you
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The kid didn't really need to be suspended, he needed psychological help-you should've first told a guidance counselor-but it doesn't matter now you did the right thing by speaking up. But seriousness-because you were the only one who didn't make fun of him-and he's probably always been an outcast his entire life,he took to you, he probably has a disorder that neither you or anybody else knew about-which is why it;s so important for us to always treat EVERYBODY with respect and be careful of people,sometimes you just have to sit back and watch. But you should defiantly NOT leave the school, keep track what is going on with him, be sure of when he'll be coming back and if you can-get him some help cause he needs it.
Look Up :)
Look. Dont leave the school. If he is going to come after you and if you ever feel that he is around you, call the police. If he ever talks to you again in that way, talk to a guidance councilor and see what they say. If it is a problem and you are scared talking to an adult will help you very much.
It's always good to be nice to people. You never should be rude to someone even if you don't know them or what there situation.
What it looks like is you were one of the only nice people to him & he liked that so he developed feelings for you which isn't uncommon.
But I think something about his family & his school history might have greated that obsessive attachment to you.
If you feel that he is a threat to you even though he is gone talk to an adult or the police & they will keep an eye on him and keep him from hurting you.
You shouldn't leave what you love because you feel like if you dont you will get hurt.