LGBTQ Teens and Dating Abuse

Same-sex dating violence is just as widespread as it in hetero relationships. Studies show that despite the high rates of abuse in the young LGBTQ relationships, abuse reported from this community is almost nonexistent in the U.S.

First, let’s clear up some myths

One common misconception is that same-sex couples can’t be abusive because their relationships are more “equal” than heterosexual ones. Many assume a man can defend himself against a man, and a woman against a woman.

Or, some believe that a woman is too passive to abuse another woman. Many LGBTQ youth incorrectly believe that no one will help them because they are gay or that the law only protects people in straight relationships – neither of these things are true but they are roadblocks that prevent young LGBTQ individuals from getting the help they need to get out.

Why many in the LGBTQ community don’t get help

They fear the reactions of homophobic friends, family members and service-providers and are left feeling alone, isolated and unwanted. A relationship, even an abusive one can get rid of these feelings, if only for a short time.

LGBTQ matters of law

  • Five states restrict protection to only heterosexual couples under the civil domestic violence laws, but many other states have gender-neutral laws.
  • It court cases in many other states, the legislatures have said that the law was intended for opposite-sex couples.
  • In the states like this or the five that that only allow restraining orders for heterosexual couples, there are other ways to gain distance from your abuser – pressing criminal charges is another option but each situation should be handled on a case-by-case basis with you and law enforcement. If you don’t think law enforcement will be receptive, go to a trusted friend or adult first or call 1.888.988.TEEN to anonymously talk to a professional and work out a plan that works for you, where you live.

Need help now? Make the call.

Sources:

TheSafeSpace.org
BreaktheCycle.org
National Coalition of Anti-Violence Program. “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Domestic Violence in 2001.” New York, NY; 2002.

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