25 Ways to Make John Happy

As the holiday season approaches and the semester ends, interns Jordan and Jess wanted to show their appreciation for their boss, content writer John. So they've created this list, a comprehensive guide that shows just about anyone how to make John happy!

1. Say something nice about the Midwest
2. Bring dark chocolate into the office
3. Play pop music from the 90s. His inner tween will be let loose.
4. Use any of his catch phrases: "Cool cool", "Enough! Adios!", etc.
5. Write three action guides and two news articles before noon.
6. Original reporting!
7. Wear your cause, like his Out and Proud army man outfit, pink hair and all.
8. Make a keyboard into a wallet. Seriously.
9. Make hanukkah/sudoku boxes look like shoes, basketball hoops, gumball machines, and any other cool inanimate object.
10. Keep good ties with organizations we work with (A.K.A. Don’t piss them off!)
11. Don't tell anyone he secretly misses his long hair.
12. Whip your hair back and forth. For good.
14. Actually show up for 12 @ 12! And be enthusiastic! Enthusiasm!
15. Buy him a really big whiteboard that can fit nowhere in the office.
16. Buy him an iPad!
17. Dress him in striped sweaters (he has a tendency to wear those a lot, right?)
18. Give him Muscle Milk to bulk up his already-fabulous physique.
19. Bring him to a red carpet and let him loose! He will work his magic.
20. Send him back to NYU for a day so he can relive his glory dayz
21. Show res life spirit!
22. Force him to buy candy for the office. Everyone can be as energetic as him with the magic of sugar and Ring Pops!
23. Write a story about a sad college student wandering the streets of NYC (NOT!)
24. Ask him to sing you something! He will bring the house down, probably.
25. Send him out for a special assignment: go meet Mickey at Disneyworld!